November 16, 2009

From the Happiness Project

I just ran across an archive of a blog I followed earlier this year called the Happiness Project. The author, Gretchen Rubin, is not posting anymore, but has written a book using posts from the blog. Anyhoo, the post I read tonight was titled Act the Way You Want to Feel. That's what I should have done today, and what I will strive to do tomorrow.

November 15, 2009

Tough One

Today happened to be a particularly down day mood-wise. I woke up depressed and didn't shake the feeling all day. This, despite the fact that the sun was finally shining outside after days of rain. In my head I knew that I should force myself to go outside and do something, that it would likely make me feel better, but I just felt lousy and stayed inside. It's moments like that when I need to get out of my head, get out of the house, and go do something active. Exercise, coffee shop, call a friend, whatever. If I don't I just end up feeling isolated and that makes things worse. I know this, and yet it's baffling how many times I make the wrong decision over and over. I guess that's just a sign of how powerful depressive thinking can be.

Hopefully tomorrow I can take advantage of a new day.

A Firm Root

I don't have much to write about tonight, so instead I'll add a link to an article from the New York Times that gives me some hope on surviving the coming fall and winter.

November 13, 2009

Getting a Move on

Just a quick update. Today has been one of those days when it seems extra hard for me to get moving with my day. As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I usually sleep late into the morning, which is something I would really like to change, especially now that the daylight hours are waning. Part of this is due to my sleeping schedule: I'm naturally a night person and like to stay up late reading or futzing around on the computer. Another part of it is the medication I take: I'm on Ambien CR and also Seroquel, both of which I take at night, and the combination leaves me pretty groggy in the morning. And of course, another part is the depression, which oftentimes leaves the prospect of starting my day less than appealing. Were it not for some plans with a friend later tonight, I probably would stay in bed all day. Glad I have friends who support me and want to spend time with me.

November 12, 2009

SAD - Seasonal Affective Disorder

It's 5:53 pm here on the east coast and completely dark. Actually, it was completely dark around 5:00 tonight, what with the recent time change and all. Setting the clocks back an hour has really been screwing with me. Part of it is my own doing. I've been sleeping until like 11 in the morning which means I only get about 6 hours of daylight. I have one of those light therapy boxes, but haven't used it yet this year. At some point, I seriously need to think about moving someplace where they get more sun.

Speaking of moving places in an effort to be happy, I've been reading this book called The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner. Weiner goes around the world in search of the happiest and least-happy countries and tries to find out why the citizenry is blissful or not. Some of the analysis is surprising (oftentimes it involves consumption of illicit substances or alcohol). For instance, Iceland turns out to be one of the happiest places in the world. Talk about SAD... I'd think they'd be one of the most depressed peoples in the world. But not so. That title is held by Moldova (or at least they're very near the bottom). Anyhoo, the book is a pretty good read.

Readers - let me know how you're doing with the time change. Until next time...

November 11, 2009

The First Moment

Hello readers. This is the inaugural post to my blog "Moment to Moment." I'll explain the reason for the title in, well, a moment. But for now, a little background on the motivation for the blog. Like many others out there, I happen to suffer from depression, anxiety, and bipolar illness (bipolar II in my case). And each of us has his or her own story to tell about how we live with illnesses like these. This blog is about my own story. There are many things I hope to write about - here's a list of tentative topics I hope to touch on in future posts.
* Underlying reasons for mental illness (biochemical and experiential)
* Cognitive therapy/Neuroplasticity
* How mental illness affects family and friends
* The need for support systems
* Suicide
* Basic things one can do to feel better
* Sharing your status with coworkers or boss
And now, before I close, the reason for the name of the blog, "Moment to Moment." This is the way I have to fight the illness, a moment at a time, the smallest step at a time. A step might be getting out of bed, or rephrasing a negative thought into a positive thought. This is how I take it. Thanks for reading!